Thank you for stopping by and if you have questions at anytime, let me know I'll be glad to answer them on here, or privately!
-Before TTC-
First, let me start by saying that this journey is not what we expected at all.
We never thought we would be a couple that would have any kind of issues starting a family.
We are young, healthy and there were no past issues that we knew of.
Ever since we got together, wanting a family was always in the back of our minds; after all, I wanted to start having kids at the age of 27, it was my "dream age" to start a family. I told this to James early in the relationship and he stayed!!! Knowing damn well the age 27 was around the corner.
We wanted to take our relationship slow and really get to know each other all over again. We dated for about 5 years and got engaged. Eight months later we were married. We even played a game at my bridal party "guess when they're gonna conceive". Sounds like a cute idea, but it actually it started to stress me out as I remembered the last "date" someone had guessed, it was like Jan 2016. We left for the honeymoon and on the 11 hour flight I read "what to expect, before you're expecting" It turned out, I knew most of what I was reading. adjusting diet and such-
-TTC-
The first six months of ttc we were trying on day 14, which is suppose to be the "best day for ovulation" however, I quickly learned its not always the case. I figured no matter what, this was the time frame we needed to try. After googling A LOT I soon discovered that everyone has a different cycle- this I knew, but never knew how different it was and how different it could be! There are a few stages of a woman cycle.
Believe it or not, this picture makes perfect sense to me...
It shows the different phases, hormone levels, when they peak, and when ovulation is.
https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/the-menstrual-cycle-more-than-just-the-period
It seemed as though as I grew up, I had diet changes, quit smoking and it all seemed to of changed my cycle with out me really knowing. I've always known that when you do any kind of extreme diet change (I just slowly changed mine by cutting out meat and dairy) it will effect your cycle and it will be hard to keep up. I've heard from many people that as soon as they went vegan, they conceived. Well, I was pretty much already there, but something else must of been happening.
In the start of 2016 we had some stressful times. This can also delay everything! your body can't keep up with the stress and almost prevents you from getting pregnant during stressful times. Not always the case, of course, but it does happen. I started checking my temperature every morning. Another learning experience!! if you move too much, or sleep with you mouth open it can effect your Basal body temperature. You have to buy a very sensitive thermometer- (a close friend let me have hers). You have to make note of your temp every morning. It also it best if taken at the same time each day! This whole things showed me that I seemed to be ovulating little early. You can tell by watching the chart move around. the highest temperature with a long drop right after, is your ovulation.
Here's an example:
I tried the ovulation strips, which test for the LH hormone. They didn't work for me because while also temping- the drop in temp (ovulation) was before the positive LH test. Which made no sense at all. When you get a positive LH test you are said to ovulate 12-24 hours after that positive test. Make sense? No. So I took this info to my Dr. and she just recommended to keep trying around cycle day 10 instead of 14. After another 3 months of trying and getting it wrong, it brings us to August 2016- exactly a year of officially trying. Doctors won't give you much help until you try for a year, at least at my age they wouldn't. I had a lot of support from friends and family. I googled, I got a lot of information. I asked my Dr. to please test my hormone levels at my next visit- I had to pretty much beg for her to do something. Keep in mind, I didn't have a regular doctor for a long time... So she pissed me off pretty bad by not doing anything that I had heard and read about doctors doing.
While talking to co-workers we shared Dr. info (we had pretty in-depth conversations about the reproductive system and we had a lot of great convos that were pretty much TMI!) We enjoyed teaching each other different things about different experiences. I set up an appointment with one of the new doctors at my co-workers obgyn. Booked until Jan. of 2017. I booked my appointment for then. At my first visit they asked A LOT of questions. Everything they could have asked... they did! My new doctor already showed more concern than any others. Turns out she was actually the Dr. at that office for fertility. I was slowly being put in a section of people that had trouble getting pregnant. I never thought I would be in that category- But I knew I was in the best place.
She requested I take a class to learn and track CM (Cervical Mucus) I know, it still sounds gross. The class was about 100 dollars or so- maybe more. I was sure I could google and read about it in my own time rather than a class. I gathered info for her, it wasn't much, but I insisted that I got it down to a day that was my "Peak day"
They drew my blood every other day for about two weeks! I HATE NEEDLES. I would always end up looking away and talking about other stuff. Finally, the reports came back, and we found that I ovulated early in my cycle (I already kinda knew that) and that some levels were low, which shouldn't prevent me from getting pregnant. Regardless, they wanted to help me. They said we should try some medication that helps you ovulate. (I already was) but they wanted to see it. This drug increased the chances of twins! Femara. It's like clomid, but not. It's meant to make you "over ovulate" almost. I took it a few times along with b6 500mg (to lengthen my short cycles) and Mucinex (yeah... To break up mucus) 🤷 anyway.
I took a few rounds of femara. I didn't like it. It made trying for a baby painful because my ovaries were swollen with follicles. Greatttttttt. I stopped taking it and we ended up having a procedure soon after. This was called an hsg. A hsg is where they have you on a table, and they put dye in your uterus to see if there's blockage and if your tubes and ovaries are where they should be, for the most part.
She noticed that dye couldn't get down my right tube. There was a blockage. She tried to unblock it with pressure and poking. It didn't work. I came out of this Drs. Visit feeling like a failure. Half a woman. How could this happen?! What was going on? Was it scarred?
She assured me that people do go on to get pregnant with only one tube. The eggs are just released and can float around and get picked up by other the other side. I went to work after this procedure and cried to my coworkers. I was heartbroken. They were very supportive. They always have been. I knew surgery to "unblock" my tube would be expensive, and almost unnecessary.
So what was next?!
Endometriosis.
The next choice was to keep trying.
I cried on the porch one night bc I felt like I had one more chance before my major surgery to get it. And if I didn't get pregnant then it just wasn't meant to be... I cried to my husband who's always been so supportive during all this. What if I was never going to be a mom. What if the surgery happens and I'm covered in endometriosis?! I've read horror stories about peoples bodies being covered! It would just be too much for me to handle. My Dr said how many incisions there would be. Up to six I think is what it was. Cameras, robotic arms, tools to cut it out of me. This is what was happening in July. My surgery I'd have to be put under for. I would be out of work for two weeks.
And then it happened. I got a small positive line.
.June 2017.
Right before my surgery, this positive. So faint it was barely there, it gave me hope again. It let me know it's possible. It's going to happen for us. We're gonna have a family one day.
The line quickly faded just as my hcg blood results came back. Such a small level that likely, wouldn't double or triple like they want.
My surgery came and went. They discovered a small infection in my uterus and I took antibiotics for 21 days. They couldn't tell me how long the infection was there, or even where it came from so that really worried me. However, I was very happy that I didn't have endometriosis like they thought. They also saw that my tube wasn't blocked it was just swollen from the infection. After I took the antibiotics we got pregnant two more times. Once in August and once in November. August we had no idea but while at the beach we actually conceived. <3
It's crazy to think that we were actually pregnant here. We found out when we got home that we would soon go through our second loss.
By the third pregnancy, we couldn't get excited as we had been before. It was tough, you have to stay positive. You HAVE to, but it's not always easy.
You hear about others becoming pregnant on accident and it's hard going through the losses again and again, the only people that can help you get through it are the people that can be mad with you and have been there. Someone who's never been through it doesn't have a clue what to say and how to help, and that's ok.
Once again in November, another drop in HCG levels the pregnancy was only confirmed for a few days. I started to wonder if this is just what it was going to be. Was I ever going to find out why this was all happening. I had really close friends surrounding me through it. They kept me positive.
Nevertheless, every month we tried. But December, we tried less. For New Years we got a Lyft, went out with my cousin. We had a whole bottle of wine together, we got home, she got sick, I took care of her and pretty much carried her upstairs. I helped her change into her pjs and she looked at me and said "Michelle, you're gonna be the best mom" My heart melted, eyes watered and I replied with, Thank you <3. Little did we know a few days later, we would make a little lasting bean :) I found out on January the 15th. It felt different this time. When I called to make an appointment with my Dr. for a blood draw to determine my HCG level, the front desk girl went ahead and scheduled our first ultrasound. That has never happened!! The appointment? It was on Feb. 14th 2018. James and I had decided months before I got pregnant in December, that I would be able to work from home. The job that I had, changed my position, and I started teching like I did in 2008 when I worked at another eye doctor. It wasn't something I wanted to do. I loved my job position I had before. It wasn't stressful, it was a work at your own pace kind of job. Unfortunately, the company was to get rid of the position at all offices. I was heartbroken. But! knowing that I would be quitting soon it made it easier to relax and I guess that's what helped me get pregnant. As soon as we saw the HCG numbers were going up rapidly, I put in my two week notice. I ended up having my last day a few days before our ultrasound, so of course I had to come by work and show them his first photo and tell them all about it.
Below is a photo of August at 6.6 weeks, the first time we saw him; we fell in love, and knew our world was almost complete.
Our pregnancy was pretty boring, the best to have ever. No issues, nothing to watch other than progesterone blood draws every two weeks. No way to tell if it helped "keep me pregnant" but they liked to see it over a certain number. I took supplements the whole time I was pregnant.
I also found out I was a A- blood type so that blood type can sometimes fight off any other blood types in my system, which could of had something to do with my losses. If a baby was forming that had a different kind of blood type, my body could view it as a virus and attack it. So half way through I had to get a shot, then after August was born, I had to get another shot to almost "reset my body". I only understand it when they explain it lol.
I was offered two more shots while pregnant, which I declined. The flu shot and the Dtap. First, the flu shot doesn't have a lot of evidence of how safe it is for pregnant women. Why? because they can't do a study on pregnant women, so they offer these shots, and kind of do a "study" on the people that accept it. They say it gives the baby more immunity to the flu, as well as yourself. I didn't want to risk it. I never get the flu shot, and I wasn't about to get it while pregnant.
The second shot was Dtap, I had a strange reaction as a baby to the pertussis vaccine, so my mom didn't finish the shots that were a part of the "vaccine bundle" I was also not about to test if i was still going to have a reaction, while pregnant, and also put my unborn baby at risk.
We also had an extra ultrasound done on the babies heart due to family history, everything came back normal and we didnt' have another ultrasound until I was overdue.
Saturday
I started labor on a Saturday night. I mentioned to two of my friends if this time line seemed like I labor. (It was a screen shot of some of my contractions) I forgot to tell them that they were my contractions. LOL! They were both shocked when I made the comment of what they felt like. I went to sleep that night, and woke up a few time in the middle of the night to the contractions. I called my midwife at 4 am just to let her know that it was happening, but I was going to watch it.
I went back to bed and continued labor the next day.
Sunday
I woke up, and had a plan to have someone come get Lexi. She was going to stay with our friends Alaina and Kristina. Kris came by, we talked a little bit and I fought through contractions talking to her. She had to of known I was in slight pain every 7-10 minutes. We stayed on the phone with midwives and doulas to let the know the progress. I started to loose my ability to talk through my contractions into the day. The last thing I made to eat was a chicken wrap. I could barely make it through. They wanted me to walk around the yard, I barely got it down the steps of the deck. We finally packed up the car at about 6pm and went to the birth center. We arrived and walked around the building a few times, to try and progress the labor, they swept my membranes, which HURT LIKE HELL! I stayed overnight and labored through, the doula got there and waited out the contractions with me. I was able to nap in the tub and loved it, but it seemed that the tub was slowing my contractions down. which was great, but it was too early for the tub. I should of waited. I stayed in the shower mostly.. it was so relaxing. The toilet was very productive as far as labor. They all said it would be, and it was. I wish I stayed there more, as much as I hated it. The contractions were worse when I laid down. I had to sleep though. There was some kind of shot or pill that was suppose to help with the pain. It kind of did. But I somewhat passed out with a room full of people, squeezing James's hand. This is going into early Monday morning hours.
Monday.
My mom was on her way, but I told her to wait, because I knew I wasn't progressing much and didn't want her to wait. They broke my water to try and move my labor along, if it was clear, I could stay at the birth center. If it was brown, then I had to go the hospital.
It's been more than 24 hours of contractions...
more to come...
NEW ANNOUNCEMENT!
💙 Another baby boy on the way! 💙
